The in between...

Most of the blogs so far have focused on the various life changing realizations that have occurred since saying the words “I’m pregnant” for the first time. How fast time is flying by until our little guy gets here, how will we know what to do or say, how are we going to acquire all of the stuff and where is it going to go, etc. I’ve come to really appreciate my own parents, parents that I know in my life and even those I don’t even know but just happen to witness. That’s probably why I haven’t blogged in awhile. Not only has life and work been crazy busy, my mind seems to be trying to soak up everything around me so that just in case, I might have the knowledge I need to have when I need to have it - so much so that I don’t believe I am even processing it anymore. The thing that I do seem to process is how life has physically changed over the last 7 and a half months. Meisha….poor Meisha….and J have unfortunately had to bear the brunt of these realizations. Meisha even commented one day that I should write down the not so positive and life changing things and blog those, too - the in between part that gets texted to her on a daily basis. After the following post on facebook and the laughs and realizations that mother’s have all been here before…I finally decided to do it. Read at your own risk. No really. A lot of this is not pretty and I did not censor.

(FROM FACEBOOK) Katie VanLear Prego realization #239: pre-pregger dresses can make cute pregger tops. Realization #240: Heels that require buckling straps must be traded in for slip-ons…. #241: Becoming out of breath while getting dressed in the morning is no longer sad…rather it is the norm.
Sandi Hipes Hartley, Margaret Lee, Krista Craft and 6 others like this.
Eryn Van Lear: you're so cute....I'm still waiting for pictures of week 28 and now week 29 :) Love you sissy!!!
Meisha Bellaflores: #242: Heels will soon be traded for flats or just flip flops
Tondalaya VanLear:and #243: Barefooted option feels best of all....
Donna Sears: "Where are my feet?" #244
Jennifer Moore Mears: #241 should also include rolling over in bed.
Jessica Robinson: oh how to true on all of the above :)
Katie VanLear: #245 Getting out of bed, getting up from the sofa and crawling out of a sinking hole all feeling the same is also a new norm.
Lisa Poulsen: IT WONT BE LONG NOW. GLAD TO SEE YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR! THANKS FOR MAKING FATHERS DAY SPECIAL FOR JACOB. LOVE YOU GUYS.
Cari Tuck Ingram: Very cute status! Oh so true. You will be adding a lot more to that list here very soon lol. Love your profile pic. He will be here before you know it!! Love ya!
Katie VanLear: I have to say I howled laughing at Jennifer's addition to #241 and Donna's #244...only because they are so true :)

1) I had to start using baby powder a full 2 months before baby boy is expected….for all of the sweat pores I never even knew I had.

2) The closet made the following transition: 1) “haha I’m pregnant and can’t fit anything” place; 2) “Oh My God I literally don’t fit anything and have 15 minutes to get to work” place; 3) “@!#$%^& *&%$##$” place….and may I add Willis’s favorite room in the house to drag all of the soaked garments from the hamper from problem mentioned in #1.

3) Realization #57: I’m having a baby. A real live human being. He will be here in t-minus “x” days.

4) I went home one day to find the house empty. A guilty “thank god” flashed in my mind and I sat on the bed and cried for 20 minutes about nothing. Literally nothing.

5) I have no money because it is either going to quickly pay off as much debt as possible or to pay for baby things. I think this will be the case for the rest of my life.

6) I can barely reach my toes to paint them. Thus, I need to have someone do them for me. It’s called a pedicure. It requires what is missing in problem #5.

7) Willis chewed my only pair of black slip-on heels. I either need again what is missing in #5 for a new pair (but why bother? They say my feet will grow and I will permanently lose all of my shoes anyways) or to be able to reach my feet to buckle in the strapped versions I have. That was an interesting site and position in my office floor.

8) I am exhausted. Literally exhausted. I manage to drag myself out of bed and to the dreadful place mentioned in #2, and by 10am I literally feel like I am about to pass out.

9) I have now seen higher numbers on the scale than I ever have in my life. And it continues to grow.

10) In order to stay cool, I have begun wearing mostly skirts and dresses. Great, minus the fact that I now have to also wear gym shorts underneath to help prevent chaffing due to the rubbing of inner thigh caused from a combination of #1 and #9. Therefore, I stay hot. And thus #1, I sweat. And thus #10, I chafe. And thus #1 part 2, I smell like baby powder. And so on.

11) My boobs are huge. They are simply in the way along with the belly. Nuf said.

12) I’m pissy. Like in #4…for absolutely no reason. Things just go right through me and I’m instantly annoyed. And my ability to restrain the subsequent remarks is growing ever so difficult.

13) I am coping with the fact that my body will never be the same. Listen up guys….take that in. Imagine something foreign affecting the way you look and you are helpless. I mean really. NEVER WILL IT BE THE SAME. Maybe my hips will stay wide, maybe I will have stretch marks, my feet could get larger. I am changing likely for the worse and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

14) You start feeling movement as little flutters. I got a “Awwwww how sweet” feeling thinking of the little guy in there moving around. Then I felt the first big kick. I was lying on my side and the kick was so hard that I literally got a visual of a whole leg whalloping my insides. It made me feel very icky and alien. Since then however, the kicks are amazing and I can’t wait to feel the next. I still feel guilty about the icky first feeling though.

15) I was getting ready to shower and was almost 5 and ½ months along. I noticed something crystal-ly on my left breast. Figured it was some lent or something from my bra. I scratched it off and liquid appeared. I screamed at the top of my lungs and ran into the other room completely freaking out. Really let this one sink in too guys. Liquid came from a place where liquid has never been seen. I literally almost had a meltdown. Feeling “icky” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

16) I now sleep with 5 pillows just on my side of the bed laid out in a very specific manner. I feel barricaded. Seeing if JP is even in the bed requires a lot of heavy breathing, maneuvering, lifting and a final heave before I can sit up to see the world around me. Repeat this process for the 7 times I get up at night to pee.

17) I waddle.

18) The need for everyone….and I mean EVERYONE…to comment on my weight and bump. “Oh you look great!” The startled “How far along are you again?” Gotta love “Are you sure it’s not twins?” “All you have gained is definitely pure baby.” “I’m so glad you are pregnant because for the longest time I just thought you were letting yourself go.””Baby weight is the hardest to lose.” “Baby weight is the easiest to lose.” And so forth. The obsession with today’s society and appearance has never been more evident than in the random comments I get daily about my size. God bless the positive ones. Damn the negative ones. But overall, keep it to yourself. In fact, maybe focus on the fact that there is a new human being in there and the size of my stomach really shouldn’t be the focus! Side note: the only two comments I have ever appreciated on this subject…1) “Hey there Jiffy Pop!” only because I laughed hysterically and because it gets a good laugh when I feel awkward after a not so nice comment and tell the story to break the weird silence…and 2) “Honestly Katie, and I mean this, I have always said a woman is never more beautiful than when she is pregnant.” This one got me. I cried. Only because I thought it really summed up the beauty of the whole experience. Thank you, Mr. Gray.

19) And sub-gripe from #18….the ballsiness of random people to comment about my food and beverage choices. Also, keep this to yourself. No one understands better than I that everything that goes in my mouth finds its way through the placenta and directly to my little one. Also understand that no one in this world can possibly love and care for him more than I at this moment. So no….just because I am carrying a travel mug does not mean there is coffee involved. It’s OJ. Just because the jar of Hershey kisses on my desk for my chocolate crazed co-workers is running low, I didn’t eat them all. Maybe the chocolate crazed co-workers did. Just because I stop at McDonalds, it could be just because I have to pee. And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, I AM GETTING A CAFFEINATED SWEET TEA AFTER NOT HAVING ONE FOR 8 MONTHS. FORGIVE ME. I think the child will be okay. And if he is not, I can probably say without a shadow of a doubt that it would not be because of a sweet tea.

20) I get out of breath doing many things. The most demoralizing would be when I have to pee so bad I think I'm not going to make it. I get there and have to unlayer just to find that no....only had to sprinkle and baby must have been on the bladder. Then I have to layer back up and find that I am breathing as hard as if I would have just run a mile and suddenly realizing that bathroom stalls feel much more like chicken coops.

21) My nose bleeds randomly...and often.

22) 3 out of 7 nights I wake up to the worst charlie-horse ever only cured by going through the getting out of bed process described in #16, scaring JP to death, and then attempting to stand until my heel will finally touch the floor.

23) To throw another kink in the whole bedtime thing, I'm a back sleeper. Apparently, I am not allowed to be one while pregnant as the baby will crush my aorta and starve us both from blood flow. So, I created the pillow system described in #16 to help keep me on my side. It works for the most part. However, if I ever wake up on my back I spend the next 15 minutes freaking out hoping that I hadn't been that way for long. When I finally get back to sleep (on my side) and stay there all night, I wake up with a horrbile ache in my hips as they are apparently beginning the "malleable" stage. My hips are squishy. Great.

24) Randomly I look down to find my ankles have disappeared and my toes have turned into vienna sausages. It's scary really.

I am sure there will be more as they come to mind. Stay tuned. Hope you enjoyed.

UPDATE: 25) The newest development: PUPPP (pruritic uticarial pupules and placques of pregnancy) or “polymorphic eruption of pregnancy” -> Gotta love that. My pregnancy is erupting. Itchy rash on the stomach that makes an already itchy stomach more itchy. It’s like a third trimester surprise. 1% of pregnant women get it. Yeah 1%. Lucky me. If only I could have those odds with the lottery? Nope….instead I win even more cocoa butter and the added bonus of cortisone lotion. Silver lining…..it’s nooooooowhere near as bad as any of the pictures googled. So, I consider myself lucky enough.

A watched pot never boils.........

The days are literally flying by but it still seems so far away that baby boy will be joining us. I feel like I blinked and missed the past couple months. Everyday I see this swollen belly and cannot fathom something living in there. Not only is it something but its a human. Sometimes it weirds me out. Katie constantly places my hand on her belly to try to feel the love taps he frequently gives her throughout the day. I must say it is surreal to feel him moving around. We are so curious as to what is going on in there that we opted to buy a personal doppler. I was skeptical how this $20 piece of plastic was going to allow us to hear our baby. I have blown $20 on more pointless things so it was worth the risk. While I was excited to use it, I was not nearly as excited as Katie. She sent me out to the gas station at 1030 at night to get batteries to try it out. By the time I returned she had already destroyed the packaging and had the headphones on ready for me to put in the batteries. So I put the batteries in and needless to say, I was not too impressed. It picked up on each little movement of your hand as you swiped it across her belly. There was no clear distinction between us touching the doppler and the sound of a baby inside. While I feel like it is just what you would expect from a $20 fisher price item, Katie keeps it on the nightstand hoping it will work better as the baby grows. Speaking of size,the book states the baby is as long as my forearm. He must really be cramped in there. As we enter the 3rd trimester, the pressure seems to be mounting. There are a million things that we still need, a million things we need to do to prepare. Katie's family threw her a baby shower and we received a lot of exciting and cute things. Our baby room has gotten cluttered with all kinds of clothes and toys. I dont think I have seen so many diapers before, however I've been told I cannot have too many diapers. In 2 weeks, we get to see our baby's first picture, or 3rd I guess but first of him while he is big. We are scheduled to do the 3-D ultrasound and I have to say that from what I have seen of them, I'm excited. The detail of the baby is unreal and so life-like. We also are supposed to start pregnancy classes or something like that soon. I'm not real sure how I feel about that yet. The whole birthing procedure kinda has me worried. I can handle a lot of blood and gore on tv or in pics but I'm not sure I'm ready for that in person. Hopefully the class will prepare me for that as well as how to handle having a new baby. Everyone has tips on what and what not to do with a new baby. I am soaking it all in like a sponge but I have a feeling when he arrives I'm just going to freeze up do what my instinct says. We have made some progress on the hunt for a name but it will remain a secret until the big day. We have to eye him over to make sure it fits before we announce it. While the baby is the most exciting news in our life right now and has been since we found out, we are making some pretty big strides in life too. The baby really got us motivated and I'm thankful for that. We are quickly working our way towards financial freedom as well as hunting for a permanent dwelling we want to call home. House hunting is exciting and scary at the same time but we welcome the challenge. We have been watching plenty of HGTV to have a keen eye and know what to look for when buying. We are no experts by any means but we are both smart enough to not get into something that does not fit our needs or overextend our budget. Also on the homefront, Willis is continually getting bigger. I'd say he is a rowdy teenager now. He tests his limits daily and we have to squash his behavior before he gets out of hand often. He shows his intelligence everyday and it scares me what he knows at such a young age. There are no more housetraining accidents and he loves his crate when he is put to bed or put away while we go to work. He is scheduled to be neutered (OH NO!!!!!!) this week and I know he and I both will be sad by that. Dogs are overbreed these days and I do not want to have to deal with that if it happened. So, less than 3 months until the little one is here. I'll try to update more often than I have been but I dont see our life slowing down anytime soon.