Time moves too fast......

So it feels like just the other day that we got the "BIG" news. The shock value seems to have disappeared until I talk with someone else that has yet to hear of our special package coming. When I get to tell someone new it excites me again as if it the first time I am hearing it myself. The days keep going by faster and the weeks that we thought were so far off are now approaching us at a speed greater than we anticipated. We have less than 6 months until the baby is here. Six months until we are responsible for the well-being of another life. When I think about it in those terms then I get a little anxious. I am by no means ready to take on another life. I guess there is really no way for me to delay this is there? Can I just have the baby grow in the womb until I feel confident that I am ready? While Katie may not enjoy that, I think it might be the easiest route. While most women who have had a baby and even those who have not will disagree when I say pregnancy is equally as stressful on the man as the woman. No, I do not have to carry the baby but I do feel the extra pounds being added to my figure from always having to have a snack in between meals. And as hard as we try to have healthy snacks laying around, the occasional bowl of ice cream or candy finds its way into my diet. Keeping up the woman's morale is also a very important yet overlooked issue that us men sometimes forget. Every morning I am hit with the "how does this look" followed by the "nothing fits" grumble in the closet. I know it can be discouraging when you find yourself gaining weight and going from a very attractive fit young woman to a very attractive young woman with a "pooch"....this is the only word I have found to not be offensive ;) I find it very difficult to describe to the disgruntled woman that she is just as attractive if not more so because she is carrying something that we created. I just do my best and say positive things. She keeps reading in books that we should be able to "see" this or "feel" that but up until the other night I had not experienced any of these things without the aid of sophisticated scientific instruments (doppler). While giving the nightly belly rub, I felt a little firm line running across the lower abdomen. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say its the uterus....at least that's what the books are saying I should be feeling by now. Even if it really isnt the uterus, I'll tell people that cause it makes me feel like we are progressing. The doctor visit this past Friday was encouraging but not as exciting as the previous ones. I guess I'm getting hard to please. We heard the heartbeat again and there was no mistaking it.....Its gotta be a boy. It was beating so strongly through the doppler I thought I would be able to hear it if I just put my ear to the belly. No such luck. We have 4 more long weeks until the next visit where we could possibly find out if it XX or XY. If we find out its going to be a girl, I am quite happy with the newest Male addition to our family, Willis Poulsen. Willis is a blue male pit bull with one blue eye and one hazel eye. He is only 15 weeks old and acts even younger. We have been having dog withdrawals for quite sometime and finally pulled the trigger. At times I have questioned our decision but while he curls up with us in the bed or on the couch and passes out snoring I know we made the right choice. Housetraining has been difficult and frustrating to say the least but I think this is great training for us with whats about to come. For some reason I don't think we have to worry about the other baby biting us or nawing on the corner of the couch. I could be wrong though. I have seen some pretty odd behavior out of little people. So as time flys by, we keep on trying to accomplish things all the while waiting on this baby to arrive. If you review our itinerary, you would think we are not affected by this so called economic recession. Virginia Beach shopping one weekend, touring San Francisco and drinking wine in Napa Valley the next (no not the expectant mother), Gloucester to visit Dad, Betsy and Nook. Down time is at a premium right now and I do not see it becoming easily attainable in the future. As we wish these weeks by to hear more exciting news and watch the development of the baby....I just want to take it a little slower and cherish the moment. We are only here once and I want to capitalize on that. Living in the NOW

The many faces of JP...

I’ve always made fun of all of Jacob’s faces. He makes a face when he thinks I’m being crazy. He makes a face when he’s concentrating. Another when he is trying not to smile. Another when he has a lot to say, but won’t say it. One when he is perturbed. Even one for scrubbing (dishes, the car, the floor, etc.). There are tons of them. And he has had them all of his life it seems. I have looked back through pictures of his childhood and see the same faces based on whatever situation is in the picture. While so many people think he is shy or “hard to read,” I have found that if you know the faces, you know what’s going on inside.

But there is a new face that I only realized today… the second time I saw the face. It happened when the doctor placed the Doppler on my stomach. He was midsentence in a discussion with Jacob about a subject other than the baby. The Doppler touched-down and the heartbeat came across loud and clear. I looked over at Jacob and saw it, for the second time. It was the same face I got on February 12th when we heard our baby’s heart beating for the first time. Complete elation only begins to describe it.

I have prided myself on naming these faces and pointing them out to him when they appear. He always laughs or rolls his eyes. And even though I have given him a hard time our entire relationship about all of his faces…this one is amazing. This one is indescribable. This one…we love.

It's the little reminders

I would be lying if I said that my slowly increasing body size wasn’t on my mind daily…if not hourly. I’m pretty sure the next time someone (especially a man) reminds me that weight gained with a baby is harder to lose, I may snap. I usually smile politely, nodding. However, next time I might land a “And you think I’m not conscious of this very fact with every 10th of a pound that shows up on the scale?!” Instead I usually reassure them of my knowledge of this fact by explaining my gym schedule and what the actual DOCTOR has explained. Typically this sends them into the “Don’t overdo it” discussion. It’s a never ending cycle.

However, this whole issue came speeding into perspective at my most recent trip to the gym last night. Jp was in a ridiculously goofy mood and after trying to get going on the glider machine while laughing so hard I was crying, I finally began the cardio portion of the workout routine. Not two minutes in I had a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. Taken by surprise, I quickly got off the machine and stretched a little longer before attempting again. 10 seconds into the restart it happened again and kept cramping. So I went to the locker room and sat for a few minutes before giving it one last shot. No go. It made me really nervous, but also sad because I want so bad to keep fit and keep the routine up. Jp offered the explanation that possibly it was the expansion and pulling of all those tendons and muscles to accommodate our growing pea pod. A call to the nurse today confirmed it. I told her I was shocked that it was that sharp and painful and she explained how much it varies for each person and pregnancy. My next appointment is this Friday and that helps to know they will be checking everything out. But I realized I spent the first trimester looking towards the goal of completing that 12 weeks and feeling so relieved to enter the 13th week with everything going well, that I completely relaxed when I actually started week 13. I was shocked last night at how comfortable and confident I had gotten in 3 short weeks, and how precious completing each week really is. A very real reminder that there is a real, live little person growing in there….and that the increasing body size is for that baby we hope to hold this coming September….makes those tenths of pounds not so horrible.

We get our second “communication” with that little person this Friday when we hope to hear the heartbeat a second time. I think I will be that girl who cries every time I hear it. AND Friday will be the completion of week 15. I am beginning to love Fridays for reasons I didn’t see coming :)